Scammers move quickly, getting their hooks in unsuspecting, often lonely people who are looking for love, romance, attention. Early in their communication they’ll talk about “the two of us” and “the future,” they’ll talk about taking you on a trip, and maybe they’ll share their favorite books about love. This may not sound so different from what a real human might eventually say, except that scammers say it very early. Almost always when it’s a real person communicating, they’ll spend more time getting to know you, getting to know if you’re safe for them, too. Lesson three is about the importance of staying grounded. If it feels like things are moving too quickly, they are. Perception is reality, and your perception matters. Someone who really intends to meet another will move more slowly, taking the time to discern if their “match” is worth pursuing.
Here is the third email I received from “Michael” to give you an idea of how he “coupled” with me quickly. Notice how he bookends his questions to me with “couple talk.” He’s uses spiritual references, about how God comes first, as a way to try and imply that it’s a spiritual destiny. And it’s ironic how he describes himself as “every other sincere person online looking for true love…surrounded by people who might have negative use or intention…” If you find his coupling too subtle, think about what you might write to someone in your third email. And remember this is from a man who wasn’t ready to commit to an online profile.
